I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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