I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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