I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Green mimosas i think yes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
