You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
