That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
