It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
