Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
