hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
