i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
