i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he was CRYING into my vagina
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
