You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
