Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
