You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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