I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
