i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She bit a glass in half.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
