Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
