Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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