It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
