love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
