I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
