My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
