You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize