Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
