it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
