idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
