As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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