Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
