You work out of a Hotel?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
