And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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