i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize