When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize