Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
