so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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