would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize