I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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