just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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