he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
