thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
