You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
