i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
