I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
