I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
