its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
