i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want to fling myself into the sun
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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