Just mADE A PArabola og urine
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
