Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
