i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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