Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
