Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
