I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
