i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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