But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
two words: eviction party
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
