Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
