im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
