I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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