It's Friday. Sex?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
