covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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