Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize