I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
