the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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