right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
