How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
