i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
