Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize