I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
