State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
