Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
